Depression

I've been battling with a lot of issues lately. To top it all off, my family just relocated 1500 miles from everything and everyone we know. I've been struggling with career, parenting, marriage, finances, the whole gammit of life and it seems the holidays and the distance just add to it. I find myself lashing out at my family; at my kids who are just little and none of it is their fault or control. They are too little and besides- I'm the parent. It's my job to be watchful, attentive, supportive... They are such good boys and hardly ever do anything that warrants consequences so why do I overreact... I know it's because I'm not happy with myself, with the choices I've made, the lifestyle I'm living. Yet, every morning I wake up saying today it's all going to change and then I go right back to the same habits and stupidness of the life I've created for myself. It's ridiculous. I don't like who I am as a person let alone as a mother or a wife. My husband has been working so hard, 12 hr days away from everyone doing physical work to provide for us and I feel like I'm just sitting on the couch watching tv wasting away. Don't get me wrong I'm up and picking up the house and the boys are following behind me tearing it back down. That's what toddlers do. It just gets frustrating when you want things to be perfect and they aren't. When you want life to go the way you think it should and it doesn't. Nothing seems to be working out and it just makes me sadder... I don't know how to fix it anymore.